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User blog:THEJJRAT/Cringe
I spent two entire years making this. It's cringe worthy, it's dumb, it's awful, and it's John Cena Xd. basically full of horrible grammar and old jokes and a living stereotype for a character that's personality i only know from memory from an old indiana jones movie oh and a lot of very, very specific product names ok wtf the song is now an ifunny meme wtf guis y u do dis ifunny y also some words are stuck together for somereason (kek) im 2 lazy to fix it so fok off m8 ok oh and theres toilet jokes wear an anti cringe suit before reading kill me "Let's find the pot of Gold unda the rainbow!" A drunk Indiana Jones screamed. "But...We need find that Elf." (lol what elf) Shorty said. "We'll help!" Father screamed. "Only if I get the Crystal Skull, half of the gold, Han Solo's skeleton, and every other artifact you collected!" "Okay then. To IrishLand!" Jones jumped out the window, Father, Shorty, and Star-Lord following. "Why Peter here?" Shorty asked and jumped over a log. "Because this is a bad story." Peter Quill(or Star Lord) screamed and shot a Skrull that was pretending to be a Dalek. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" The universe exploded, but Gandalf stopped it from exploding and saved the world. Then, Martian Tripods started sucking blood out of citizens of Butt-In-Burg. Gandalf, Thor, Bilbo Baggins, Nightwing, and Josh P. Pooper (In his HYDRA suit with a Red Death pulse rifle he found off of a Guardian) fought them, making them all explode with Martian Power Rangers popping out. There was then World War 4, Power Rangers Vs. Predators, since Gandalf is in a hurry to eat tacos with ale and the rest want bacon cheeseburgers (And Gandalf is a good friend of the predators and James Cameron). Later Peter groaned and took a sip from a Coca-Cola Zero can. "Can't we just go to Xen and fight some Xenomorphs? This is booorrriiing!" "Xenomorphs not on Xen. Second, you want to came." Shorty said, suddenly a Rhino bashed Peter off the road. "AHHHH!" Darth Vader and Spider-Man was riding it. "Wanna find some treasure?""MONEY!" Spider-Man was shot in the face by Star-Lord. "I'm okay!". Soon, they were traveling up Mount. Buttz, the mountain where the faces of the presidents of Mexico for some reason was carved. Star-Lord bent down, and carefully ripped a root out of the chocolate black ground. "This is a Coco McGroot root.. We must be heading the right way." He said and sniffed it. "Why?" Vader asked. "Groot was a writer. He wrote a book named "I am Groot", the first chapter says 'I am Groot, Groot, I, Grootam.'" "What?" "It means "Look for Coco Root and you will be in right place", duh." He said and stuffed the root in the bag. Spider-Man spotted a rare Red-Nosed Cow and web shot it. "GOT DINNER!" "NO!" it punched himin the waist. "I MUST BE PUT IN ZOO! IDIOT GO FALL IN DITCH!""Okay, okay! Don't hurt me..." He tied it to the Rhino with webbing. They climbed mountains, battled Cave Trolls, visited villages, made contact with Extraterrestrials, and got drunk and prank called the president many, many times... But then, they found San Lorenzo, a magical land of orphans, like Spider-Man (Comeon, let's face it. His parents are dead). "I FINALLY FOUND IT!" Dr. Jones screamed, and Father Pooper took his World Map (a map the Poopers use to mark locations they visit) and wrote and drew San Lorenzo down. "I, am Puss..IN BOOTS!" A tabby cat with a Mexican hat, with a silver sword and black boots jumped into their faces, Spider-Man screaming like a 16 year old schoolgirl that wasn't German. "Are you...BANDITS!?" The cat jumped back in growled. "I used to be a gangster..." Father murmured. "No, no we're not." Ferb said. "PHINEAS AND FERB?! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Puss jumped on Ferb and bit him, Ferb's skin turning red and growing horns. It then screeched, "It's a demon from the Underworld!" Star Lord gasped and shot it in the face, it turning to dust and flying back to it's evil home world. "YOU BETTER RUN FREAK!" Darth Vader screamed. "So, your amigos or not?" The tabby said and drank milk. "Yepadoodlesnicker." (Why) Father said, he had stolen a bucket of treasure from the shield treasure area. He had it in his pockets (which were bigger in the inside-lol jk dr who is overrated xd). "Oh, good. How may we help you?" "A room. Food. A drink. A pack of cards maybe." Star Lord said and took of his helmet. "You may be looking for the bar. Free rooms!" Puss and the team ran to the bar and played Poker, drank until drunk, and had feasts. Sooner or later they all fell asleep in the rooms. Star Lord woke up at 2 O'Clock. He yawned and threw a Coca-Cola bottle at Jones, who in turn screamed like a 12 year old and fell off of his bed and landed on Puss. Yowling, Puss jumped up with his back elevated up like a graveyard card and scratched and bit Jones. "Ow" Jones screamed in terror as he was being mauled by a kitten. Finally, Jones hit Puss in the face with his whip and he stopped attacking. Puss hissed athim (jrat iz acfhust cufnroemd) walked away. Star Lord chuckled. "WE NEED TO GO!" Darth Vader screamed, and TomatoBuscus walked into da bar. "H-Holy...cow biscuits!" Spider Man said. "YOU!" Darth Vader screamed. "You stole my Hello Kitty shirt and all of the Tobuscus videos off of the Death Star's computers! And Cheese Steak the Stormtrooper hunted you down, and you MURDERED R2-D4! YOU ARE AN IMPERIAL WANTED CRIMINAL!" He again screamed and drew his Lightsaber. Tomato Buscus drew his blaster pistol, and a tumbleweed rolled across the room and Western music started "I've been tryin' to find yas, old Vaders... And take meh revenge..Eva since Cheese Steak shot meh in da arm dat day on The Salvation, I bleeded out next to my rebel henchmen...I vowed that I would find you and-" he was shot by Star Lord. "That was taking too long. Let's go." He said and jumped on a white unicorn. "PUSS, FATHER, VADER, SPIDER MAN, JONES, SHORTY, GETCHYER BUTTS ON DIS THANG!" Everyone did (after Father got a souvenir cow bell, and the lifeless TomatoBuscus' blaster) and they flew off to space. "Where next?" Star Lord asked."Hmm...Cordin' to dis map I got from Burger King, the next area is Far Far Away!" Jones said, Father grabbed the map. "Dis is mine. I'm the map reader of this team." After an hour, then they stopped to eat at Friar's Fat Boy in Far Far Away (Father drew the area on his world map, "Friar's Fat Boy Fairy Tale Burritos"in the Far Far Away section) and Star Lord ordered the group 7 Burritos, 4 Shreka-Colas, and a kids meal for Shorty. "Hmm...San Lorenzo, go left...Go around and get to the burrito place...And make a donut turn to get to...Gravity Falls Oregon!" Father said and bit into his burrito, and putting the Burrito Crown and kids meal toy (Who was Merlin and Donkey) and toy in his backpack (along with his cowbell and blaster and the purple vest from the Skrull Star Lord killed). "Sugar Horns, to Gravity Falls!" Star Lord yelled at his Unicorn, as she went into LIGHTSPEED mode. They stopped at Gotham on the way and picked up some cheeseburgers, soda and fries. They passed over Tubuscus Land and around Area 51, made a loopty loop and pulled, made a spin and circled, and crashed on top of Greasy's Diner. "Oh! Wonderful! Customers!" Lazy Lucys aid in her trademark old woman voice and went inside the giant log. "Well, least we made our shoes look good..." Spider-Man groaned and slipped off the unicorn, screamed as he fell from it,ending in a loud "THUMP"... "I'm..Okay!" He groaned in pain. "Maybe I'll just stay here for a bit...Ow pain." A rocket ship then crashed through his head. "That hurts a lot.." He whispered and then screamed. A reptilian,lizard-like creature with a black coat and a blaster rifle stepped out of it. "I'm Bobby the Trandoshan. Bobby smell chicken, Bobby looooovvveeee chicken." "Hey! What's this do-hickey?"Lucy said and took the blaster. "No!-" Lucy shot the president of the United States of America on mistake. "Oh,nuts." Lil bit later After Lucy was put being detained for interrogation by the Secret Service, George Bush took over. "Heyy'all, want some chicken and huddogs?!" The former president shouted and offered free chicken sandviches to all the residents of Gravity Falls and visitors. "Yes please!" Iron Man and Star Lord flew in ate 300 pounds of pure fried chicken. "I want biscuits." Shorty said, "You can't handle OUR biscuits yo!"Iron Man screamed, and Shorty kicked him in the metal face and sent him flying into the Manly Man machine. "You listen to me, you live longer." Father ate 30,000 pounds of baked, fried, and burnt chicken, 330 gallons of Coca-Cola, and half a pound of pancakes and french fries. "I CAN EAT MORE THEN SHAGGY!" He screamedand punched his fork onto the table. "TAKE DAT BACK, DUDE!"Shaggy screamed. "Reah, rake it rack!" Scooby yelled. "FOOD CONTEST!" George Washington screamed and piled 4 billion plates of fried chicken, hashbrowns, chicken nuggets, burgers, and fish sticks and custard. "Whoever can eat everything on those platessucka, can earn the title of the Best Eater, sucka! In the time limit is, 4 SECONDS!" Father won of course, even eating the plates and forks. Shaggy sobbed and ran to the Mystery Van. "YEAH, SUCKAYOU BETTA RUN!" Father screamed, and was rewarded with a diamond medal for his new title as the best food and the best people of 2017."Hi how may Elmo take your order?" A red furry monsterasked and did a spin. "A double bacon cheese burger and fries."Spider Man said, "And a beer for Bobby." "Okaay Elmo loves you." Elmo again did a spin and hovered into thekitchen. "A BEER BURGER AND FRIES!" His high pitched screaming shattered the windows. He grabbed the food and turned around. "Here-Oh hi it's so good to see you again!" And he hugged Spider-Man. "Mwah, mwah." "We just seen eachother four seconds ago..." Spider Man murmured. "Here'syour food. Talk to you soon." He then made a derp face and fell down a stair case. "HOLY HELL ARE YOU ALIVE!?" Iron Man screamed. "Elmo fine." Elmo then broke a door down with his face, "ELMO WANT RAISE KEVIN!" Elmo screamed to Kevin Clash. "You didn't work last week!" "ELMO WANT RAISE!ELMO WANT WANT WAAAANNNT!" After the Group all ate, Elmo and Bobby joined in (Elmo "Wasn't being paid" enough), Elmo and Father played the Manly Man machine (Elmo winning just by touching it with his pinkie finger), Father BOUGHT a copy of the Manly Man Machine and shoved it in the mouth of the Unicorn (Saying "Hold dis," and Horns nodded), and the group (and Sugar Horns) headed to the Mystery Shack on foot. The traveled mountains (really, reallysmall mountains), prank called The President some more, hunted Turkeys, and pooped on trees. "Haha!" Father spotted a shack at the top of the Hill. "Oh yeah, less go!" Star Lord said and ran to the shack. "Come one come all, 50% off ALLT-Shirts!" Stan Pines yelled as he was on the porch of the shack. "Heck yeah SUCKA!" Elmo ran inside and bought 24green and red question mark and Mystery Shack shirts. Father rushed in and snuck (lol snuck wtf m8 y u horibl gramur) into Dipper's room (He and Mable were sleeping) and casted a spell onto the journal and cloned it. "Little did theyknow...The one who wrote it WAS-" "FREE SNOWGLOBES!"Puss yelled. He placed the original in his bag Indiana Jones gave him, "FREE!" Father woke up Dipper with the scream and randown the staircase and knocked down Jones. "Finally, my name is used! I need to be a more frequently used character!" After breaking the 4th wall, Jones got in a fight with Elmo in Call of Duty Ghosts. Elmo won of course (Getting 87 kills and 20 legit no scopes in 8 seconds flat), winning a copy of Half Life 3. "Not Elmo's taste. Here," he gave Father the disc. "Elmo hate volvo gaemsz." "Yet you play COD.." "Hey! COD is legit, you 3 year old!" "Canonically your 3 and a half years old.""....Unfair!" "AHH!" Elmo jumped onto Father'shead and bit it and latched to him. "UGH AHHH GET IT OFF!"He shook his head and Elmo flinged (flinged) (f l i n g e d) off and crashed into a lamp. "URRGURRF!" Elmo swallowed 3 pounds of glass and punched Father."RIGHT IN THE ELMO'S WORLD!!" Chapter 4: HYDRA After the Unicorn vomited out all of the luggage of the Gang, they decidedto "Borrow" a red Ford (Which was part Jeep) and shove everything in the back. It took some time for Father to shove FightFighters and the Tumble weed Terror games in the back, though. Elmo decided to dumpster dive as they packed, and found two games, Fight Hogg and Doctor Punch, M.D. "Elmo found games." "SOUVENIR!"Jones screamed and took them. "ELMO WANT!" "Hey, wemade a deal to give all of the loot to Father." Star Lord hopped in the backseat, "Where nexto?" "Cordin' to this book Jones got me, Cloud CUCKOO LAND! The LEGO one, not the Banjo Kazooie world." "CAR, TO CUCKOO LAND!" Star Lord screamed. Suddenly, Josh jumped ontop the car. "AHH!"Screamed Starlord. Josh shot the car 3 times, then jumped into one ofthe windows. "Surprise, sucka! Oh, and I need this." Hesaid and grabbed Jones by the collar. "See ya sucka." Hepulled a string on his suit and flew out the window, forming wings."HAIL HYDRA!" "CATCH DAT BIRD!" Fatherscremed. "We really, really need him FYI." "Rightaway, capin'." Starlord said a pulled out an E-11 and shot Joshfrom out the window. "HEY! THAT'S MY SON!" "I have iton stun.." Suddenly, a helicopter pulled on the side of the car."Ohhh crap..." "Hail HYDRA..." A soldier insidespoke, atEasing. "FIRE!" "Sir, we're low on ammo...""FIRE OR THE RED SKULL'L HAVE OUR HEADS ON HIS SHELF!" "YESSIR! HAIL HYDRA!" 4 soldiers lined up with Assault Rifles andshot the car, going through multiple ammo boxes. The car turnedaround the side of the mountain. "AHH! I WAS GONNA CONSIDERJOINING HONEST" Father held his hands up. The car had 40 holesalready, and.. "Great...Gas leak. Just what we need!" The car exploded, but Gandalf teleported everyone and everything into a UFO before it all went bye bye. Later... "Uhhhhh..."Father groaned. "What the hell happened?" Father asked, finding himself in a stasis chamber. "Oh, you were being save/abducted by the Gandalfians of Gandalfia until our ship was blown up and we rented a new one." A Gandalf said. "So I'm in a spaceship?" "A Gandalfian Series-B 20x 6,000 86193 Flying Saucer, to be exact." Gandalf himself said. "Can I go now?" "Not without your FREE Complimentary Gandalf Hat and FREE UFO insurance and a Limited-Edition Triangular UFO!" A Gandalf let Father and the rest out and gave Father the loot. "Thanks!" "You're welcome. Your ride's outside. And remember, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Call 1-800-88-00-9-GANDALF-MCGANDALF to buy at the Gandalfian store of Texas!" Gandalf said. Father nodded, wrote down the number, and stuffed his stuff his backpack. "Bye!" Father and the gang jumped into the UFO and dumped their stuff in the storage room. "Where next?" Indy asked, having beenteleported to the ship by Dumbledore, a Gandalfian. "Cloud Cuckoo-Oh we already got there when we were abducted.. BEACH CITY!HOME OF FRYBO AND THE COOKIE CAT!" Father yelled. "Whoo!"They flew to Beach City in their UFO (Josh already pray painted aBurger King, Imperial, and a HYDRA logo on it). They landed atop themountain where those Gem weirdos lived. "Wahoo! Let's go!"Elmo screamed and ran to Beach Citywalk Fries, with the otherfollowing. "We will take a Gem Cola, a box of french fries, ahashbrown, and a Cookie Cat." Elmo said apon seeing the place."RONALDO! MAKE A DOUBLE MEAL COMBO WITH COLA BONUS!". Theyate their meal at the Arcade, Father got a Gem toy from his Citywalkmeal. Garnet and Father played an epic round of Meat Beat Mania. and Father won so much he took the game machine and Garnet's glassesand gloves as an reward. And Road Killer. "Woo!" Star lordscreamed as he got 20 billion tickets and bought a Stormtrooper teddybear. He shoved everything into his Cheeseburger Backpack that hefound in a garbage can (Along with the Spider suit from Spider-Man2). "YEAH! I am so gonna watch Steven Universe wit da kids whenI get back..." Father said, walking down the road with Starlord."How will Mother react when you come back with a junk-filledUFO?" He asked. "Well, angry. She might be used to mebringing loads of loot..." Starlord chuckled. "Hey, here'smy helm." He handed Father. "Really?" "We werelike, friends for 5 years? And their super cheap at SCIFY-R-US."They both chuckled, but a stand with stuff for sale got theirattention in 3 seconds. Father, putting on the helmet, ran withStarlord to the shop. "Hi! I'm Steven! I'm selling junk torandom people!" "STEVEN...UNIVERSE!?" Father screamed."THIS IS SOOOO GOING ON FACEBOOK!" He yelled and took aselfie with Steven and printed it out with Mother's printer a millionmiles away. "I will like dat Watermelon Steven, the Metal Mutt,a Flask Robonoid, those tapes of Lil' Butler, Evil Bear 2: BearlyAlive, M.C Bear Bear, the Desert Glass, and the Le Spatula...What isthat doing here?" Father slammed 200 bucks onto the table."You...Just bought everything...Awesome!" He put everythingin his backpack and let Stevio (The watermelon) and Dr. Robotnik (TheFlask) follow. They traveled back to the Gang while the two drankKelp Shakes from a local KelpShake store that had Fish with waterdomes on their heads working at it. When they got there, Elmo wascooking on a BBQ and made ribs, burgers, and chicken strips. Everyone(And Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, and Connie) were having dinner. "Hey!I want some!" Both Starlord and Father said. "ELMO SUCHGOOD CHEF!" Elmo screamed and gave the two ice-cold Bloxy Colas.Star ate a rib, "ELMO IS!" His head exploded, leavingnothing but a rainbow. Father's arms blew off when his tastebuds eventouched the chicken strips. There was even a game where one playerloaded a assault rifle with chicken strips, and try to shoot theminto the others mouth using Matrix-style Bullet Time. Father alsofound a Cookie Cat machine in a dumpster. "Yay!" Elmoscreamed. After the almost-Mini-Summer, Spider Man asked, "Wherenext?" As he ate French Fries from Beach Citywalk Fries, wearinga FRYBO suit. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a TARDIS materialized,with Spidey in it. "HELP!" (Ronaldo turns on I'm theDoctor theme on YouTube, full volume). Chapter 3:Finally...Another Chapter _________ The TARDIS doors open, "I'MBATMAN!" Batman screamed and jumped out and punched Father inthe face, the TARDIS exploding and becoming Freddy Fazbear andexploding once again. "I'm Batman." Batman said, and ate aHotdog. "Yay! Will you come wit us Batman?" Spider Manasked. "YEP." "Yaaaaaaaaaay." "No mochitchat. We need to go to Taco Bell." He said, and they tookthe UFO to Taco Bell. Father stopped the UFO next to the drivethrough. "We will like 27 Tacos and a VIP pass to the basement.""Okie dokers." "HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME?!""And me!" The rhino and red nosed car screamed. "Oh,Rhiny! I though we were riding you.." Spider Man said. "NO,YOU RANDOMLY DITCHED US. I'M GOING TO THE PET ROOM." It stompedoff to the room while screaming "PEANUT BUTTER." "Whydid we need to go here again..." Star lord asked, while eating aMallow Cup (and shoving the Toy Money into the loot bag). "Because,I'll be right back." He said and got out then went into TacoBell. An hour later.... Star lord was playing Clash of Clans onhis smart phone, Elmo was drawing a picture of Batman, and Batman wassitting (with his legs up against the console) and eating a bag ofDoritos, watching two bunnies fight to the death with rocketlaunchers for a chicken nugget that someone dropped. "Hehe."Jones was texting Marina (from the past, who fought the Dark Armywith Ai and the Volunteer Army) with the Doctor's android, which canallow you to call and text people from the past and future paradoxfree, trying hardly not to give spoilers of her relationship withKain. "SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Foxy opened the door andjumpscared everyone. They all screamed in terror. "Can I joinyou guys? Me and Bonnie just broke up." He asked. "But..Bonnie'sa guy-" "SKREEEE! NO SHE IS NOT! SCOTT GOT THE GENDERSMIXED UP, BUT GOT EVERYTHING ELSE SURPRISING RIGHT! I MEAN HOW DID HEMAKE UP SPRING TRAP? I HAD A DINNER PARTY WIT HIM LAST WEEK! WHAT WASMY POINT AGAIN?!" He carried on, "All right, all right.You'll be the mascot." Batman said. "Yay!" He said. Hewalked to the Little Foxes room, because he drank too much Foxy Cola."Um...C-can...W-we join too?" Charno asked, with Marinabehind. Along with Lephret. "Ai said it was fine." Marinasaid. "Sure. A warrior and a few clerics are going to goalong useful." Batman said. "Wait, HOW ARE YOU HERE!?"Jones asked. "TARDIS." The Doctor said, peeking into theUFO then running off to the TARDIS. "That sunova...Oh, I forgotthere's preschoolers here." Jones said, looking at Elmo. Thenew recruits looked around the UFO, and Batman built their rooms(Foxy already engaged to Lephret, even knowing that it's soon goingto be a long distance relationship). "ARGH!" Batman said ashe crashed through the window of the UFO, landing on the wall. Marinaquickly came to heal him. "What happened?" Shorty asked. "Iwalked outside and one of those rabbits missfired their RPG at me.I'm missing my collar bone and broke my skull, oh, wait, mycollarbone grew back because I'm Batman." Suddenly, the doorslid open with Father there holding bags of tacos and assault riflesthat shot tacos and bullets made of tacos. "Who arethey...Nevermind that. TACOS!" Father threw tacos at everyone,Lephret catching one. "What is a...Taco?" She said,assuming it was a food, ate it. She became a rainbow for an hour thenbecame a human again. "TACOS! YEAHUYA!" _____________ Chapter4: To the Rainbow! "Okay....What should we call this treasurehunting group?" Father asked, turning his Captain space chairand eating from a Lays potato chip bag. "Um...I'm Batman?"Batman asked. "CHARNO INC OF AWESOMENESS!" Charno said asshe sat cross legged. "THAT'S THE COMPANY NAME BECAUSE DAT WASADORABLE!" Father said with a microphone. "Now, the groupname?" "Um...The.." Batman said, "treasurehunting," Starlord said, "group of epicness," Marinasaid, "of Lephret's..." Lephret said, "face."Jones said. "The Treasure Hunting Group of Lephret's Face? Eh,sounds kewl. It's official, TRHGOLF of CHARNO Inc. Also known asG.O.L.F, also known as GOLF." He wrote it down and flew to Underda Rainbow Town. "We are seconds later from finding that pot ofgold!" Everyone clapped and cheered. "But, first we need tofight the Gym leader." "What's a gym?" Foxy asked,with Lephret's arms around his metal shoulders, her making a peacesign and shooting a selfie (Batman had introduced to her...TheInternet. She became 100% American). "A place where you growthese babies. Even though I train at The Batcave." Batman said,kissing his abs, that tore out of his suit. "That..and a placewhere you fight Pokèmon." Father said. "I knew dat." "Let's go!" Elmo and headed to the door, hitting hishead of the wall before he got out (3 times). _____ "Halt!"A Combine soldier said, guarding the gym. "Only Pokèmon MASTERScan enter." He said. "Ugh, fine. Guys, stay here and have aBBQ with the Combine. I'm going in." Father said. "Kewl k."Lephret said. Father entered. He walked down a dark hall, whenred lights suddenly sparked. There sat a throne...with a man in ablue suit and a crowbar in hand with a golden crown on. He looked atFather, with red glowing eyes. "What are you doing in GmodCity....Trainer?" He said with a deep voice. "To get thebadge." "The Garry's Mod Badge of Victory? Well, I'm notpaying the medical bill." He grabbed his staff and banged thebutt of it on the ground, it making a fart sound, with the audiencechanting "Hax! Hax! Hax Hax!". "You are challengingLord Hax. The royal Immortal who created the universe of Valve."(Eye close up) "And I accept." He threw a Pokèball atthe stage. "Go, Crowbar!" "Go, Bobbio the Genesect!""Naming your Pokèmon? Eh, noobs." He gave Crowbar a RareCandy, "USE CROWBAR!" "Crowbar, crowbar!" Itthrew a crowbar at Genesect. "GENESECT, USE STAB AND Strength!"Genesect used strength and then stabbed crowbar, Crowbar faintingalmost instantly. Hax fell to his knees and Darth Vader style"Nooo!"d. He sniffed, and put the golden diamond incrustedG shaped badge onto his vest. "Sniff, your the 2nd person tohave won this." He then ran back to his throne sobbing. A babyStrider hopped onto his shoulder. "I become your pet when youwin. I'm Bob." "Awww," he said and petted it's chin.Gordon Freeman gave Father a golden Combine Metro helm, a crowbar,and a AR2 (and a Headcrab started following him everywhere he went asa Familiar). He left in pride, and saw Elite Combine soldiers doingthe Harlem Shake and Josh hugging a Metro cop. "We're cousins!Metro Pooper!" Josh said, the metro cop waving at Father. Also,Glass'O Pooper married a Combine Assassin. "SHE'S NOW PICKLEFACE ILIKEPICKLES POOPER!" Glass'O said and ran to Mexico likethe Flash. Everyone got into the UFO. They flew west, and suddenlyran out of gas on a desert. "Well, DANGIT." Foxy said. "Westill have plenty of supplies." Marina said. "How do youmake fuel?" Father asked. Charon found a rock, that was red andhot to the touch..."Um...This is fuel....but it takes a whilefor it to turn to liquid." She said and hauled it with magic tothe front of the ship. "Aye, I'll help." Lephret said. "Metoo." Batman said. They put it in a pot that Batman made (Hemade a round hollow sand castle, and yelled at it so it becameglass), and Batman slowly melted it with his stare, and the clericsusing spells to melt it. Suddenly, figured jumped from beneath thesand and shot the car with guns and bows. "Desert raiders!"Darth Vader said, turning on his Lightsaber and slashing some up."Okay, everyone to the front lines!" Father said, pullingout his Bluesteel Assault Rifle that he got from one of his trips onRobloxia. _____ Father moved down the line, shooting multipleBandits. Marina stood in back, healing the fighters. Foxy bit araiders head, and ate his face off, "YUMMY! IMMA ROBOT SO ICAN'T GET HUNGRY BUT WHATEVER." Darth Vader threw his Lightsaberat groups of them, and there was piles of bandits across thebattlefield. "It's a whole fleet!" Charno increased theheat of the fire from beneath the pot. Vader used a Gravity Gun toshoot giant rocks at fleets of bandits. "ITS DONE!" Batmanscreamed and threw the pot into the Fuel Hole in the UFO. Fatherlooted some bandits then ran back to the ship, and everyone got backinside. ________ Father dropped to the Captain's Chair. Theship was in deep space. As they were heading towards therainbow, they had to stop at a planet, Sammichia. Father was eating acheeseburger, as he could not eat sammiches at the time because theywent where all sammiches live, Sammichia. It had 2 moons, Sandwichiaand Burgeria. Lephret was vacuuming the vessel with a Stan Vac. TheUFO landed next to a Bank on the planet, and Father went out andtalked to Lord Turkey Sandwich, who was the ruler of the planet. "Igot the badge. The prophecy states I must I speak to you after I havefound it." "Ah, friend. Take this, the golden Egg of theAztecs. It will be useful on your journey." Father nodded andturned, "Wait, take this Sandwich Launcher, it's a good keepsakeand an awesome weapon." ____________ Father was headingstraight toward the water with the ship, then suddenly pulling up andstopping. He turned on a tractor beam from the bottom of the ship andeveryone started to wear hazmat suits (as they were on a budget andcouldn't afford sea equipment). They dove to the seas, while Elmopatrolled the UFO and cut the giant decor underwater rocks intopebbles. _________ Father came out of the Wet Noodle with bagsof Chinese kabobs and buckets of chicken from the Sea ChickenShack. Lephret caught and tamed a Great White Jellyfish andwas riding ontop on it (while to was shooting blaster rifles at birdsthat Foxy installed). Darth Vader had installed a giant fish tank(the size of 2 Godzillas) to the UFO that was filled with a RedJellyfish, a Dragon Jellyfish, a Steel Jellyfish, random pinkJellyfish, 2 King Jellyfishes, a Ghost Jellyfish, a Krabby PattyJellyfish (a burger with tentacles), and Old Man Jenkins the fish(AND a Goldeen and a Saber Tooth Shark). "Okay, now we justgotta find that Golden Sponge-" "Did y'all say....Goldsponger boberio?" A hobo fish said. "Well, I found dis inthou dumpster sucka." He threw a solid gold Sponge at Father."We got it. We best head back to the ship." ____________ "Howmany trips do we have to take?!" Jones groaned. "One more.We have to take a trip to Naruto's Shop of Shopness." Father putthe UFO in Lightspeed mode and headed to Japan (which was straightahead). The UFO landed near Naruto as he was fighting a gang ofsquirrels. "Wah!" He smacked a squirrel, then the creaturescreamed, grew an ammo belt, machine guns, a headband, and makeuplines on it's cheeks and battlecried as he rapid fired at Naruto.Naruto was saved by Chuck Norris as he flicked the squirrel, makingit cut in half and blow up. The other squirrels retreated, and livedto fight another day. Father appeared behind Naruto. "AH!""Shaddap. I need dat.." He whispered into the Shinobi'sear. "Ohhh...That." Naruto leaded him into the shop. Theystopped at the basement, where a giant, golden, adorable, YuiHirasawa statue sat. "It was as tall and big as she really is,so giant wasn't needed, sorry for breaking the 4th wall." Narutosaid. "Anyway, this is what you need, right?" "Yep.""Well good. Now take it and get out of meh shap!" _______ After Lephret, Batman, and Father (the strongestpeople there) (Father getting the strength from his large midsection)pushed the statue into Storage, they stayed around and ordered afamily sized Chicken Bucket from KFC. Father also bought some K-ON!!and Naruto Mangas for Sister, and putting then in a box and wrappingit with Bleach wallpaper. "I'm Harold." A Gmod citizensaid. "HOW DID YOU GET IN?!" Batman screamed. "I livein the bathroom playing my Pokèmans." Harold said held acartridge of Pokèmon Silver (Well, making it magically float infrontof him). "FREE POKÈMANS!" He said and spam spawned Pokèmonragdolls. "Cchh, preparing launch to space in9...8...6...4...5...2...1...Z...T...7...LIFT OFF! MATH HURTS MYBRAIN!" An intercom said and the UFO flew to out space again. _____ Decked in underwater suits, the team dove under MarylandRoad, Butt-In-Burg. Father approached a stone wall, with threeholes in it. "Some researchers say this is Atlantis. But theirwrong." He said, and pushed the Anime statue into the middlehole. He placed the sponge into a smaller whole, then the egg intoanother one, and finally the Gmod badge into the round one. The wallopened to reveal a broken down, decaying, fish infested building.Suddenly Homer Simpson flew to the sky and threw a donut at theMoon. There was a golden Hoxton mask, and Father picked it up."Let's get rich." Trying to replace every instance of "Foxy" with Pyrocynical and unsticking the words Category:Blog posts